Let's Talk About the P-word

The following words are helping to define the next steps in my life. They keep

me going when I worry that my efforts are pedestrian or pointless. They inspire me to nurture the seeds of ideas for new stories and new adventures. And they help me slay the most persistent obstacle to my happiness: the need to be perfect. 

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit

belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

- President Teddy Roosevelt, 1910 

(the full speech is pretty darned awesome but it will take time to read and fully digest: http://www.theodore-roosevelt.com/trsorbonnespeech.html) 

Here's the thing with perfection. It will kill your soul. I say that as someone who allowed the need for perfection to drive me for most of my life. If I don't get straight As, I'm a failure. If I don't get elected to student government, I'm a loser. If I don't have a perfect body, no boys will ever like me. One false move...and everyone will figure out I don't know what I'm doing/I'm a fraud/I don't belong here.

The longer you buy into that, the less likely you are to pick up a paint brush or write a poem or write a blog post (ha). What's the point if it's not perfect? You stop taking risks, you worry incessantly about what people think about you, and you can't truly live in the moment because you're so concerned about whether you're doing "it" right.

Or you buy into the idea that if only you had the right car/perfect hairstyle/(insert brand name here) jeans or shoes, if only you made X amount of money or had such-and-such title on your business card, THEN you'd be successful, and therefore happy. 

I'll admit it. I've had these thoughts way too often. I've let them squat rent-free in my mind, negative energy that kept me stuck in a holding pattern. 

So how do you break free? You break free by doing a few things. First, you let go of any expectation of ever being perfect. It's the most irrational, unrealistic goal you could ever set for yourself. And once you truly embrace that, it's easier to be gentle with yourself.

And if you're gentle with yourself, you'll realize that your harshest critic...is YOU. The people who matter in this world already love you. The thoughts in your head are just thoughts. And the people who gossip or speak critically of others will never matter. They're not in the arena. 

Georgia O'Keefe. Jim Henson. Miles Davis. Ted Turner. Madonna. Oprah. Ellen Degeneres. Hillary Clinton. Richard Branson. They climbed into the arena. They dared greatly. They said, "To hell with the critics. I'm doing it my way." 

We can all get in the arena. Every time we take a step toward our passions, we fight back against the BS of perfection. The more steps you take, the more the critics (especially those in your own head) cease to matter. This is something I am attempting to do every day. Some days, it's easier. Some days, I have doubts, but I am determined to keep going. 

So, (sorry Mom) EFF perfection. Try new things. Go solo. Risk more. Love harder. Be kind. Fall down...again and again and again. Laugh at yourself. Above all, choose to live juicy. Your flaws are what give you your flavor.

- XO, D